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a wholesome being:
an experientially and emotionally motivated sense of being

hwang jini

“one may not have the total control over what may come to one, but one does have the full power over what goes out from one.”
— rudimaa, from the ‘sleepwalker’

violin strings, unstrummed,
typewriting keys, untouched;
do they emote or have words to express it?
though made by humans to augment
human heart with the overflowing emotions,
untouched do they exist,
in sight and sounds only when one attends to.

o heart ! take me to a place where there is no one,
nor beloved, nor a stranger,
an intimate or a pariah
or even a passerby.
— an old urdu poet.

any one coming in contact with a societal person unintentionally experiences the sense of separation — the walls, guards, and even in public places with the clansman-ship, thought-out custom, culture and the heavens; haves and have nots. even birds and other animals are not welcome there. further yet, the natural elements are not accepted in their nature made forms — streams are dammed or channeled, hills are flattened; air is either cooled or heated.

heart’s throbs are interfered with these thought-out changes, emotions are overwhelmed. one longs to be in a place where one is seen and accepted as one naturally is.

one wonders for how long an infant remains in a form its mother delivered it. in places a boy infant’s foreskin is clipped off for religious beliefs, or for fattening the pocketbook of the medical surgeon. before the potty training era, one could not walk unapprehended that a paper wad containing the adult excrement thrown out from the window and landing on one passerby in the middle class english neighbourhood. those rich citydwellers had no place to relieve themselves into the farms like their poor serfs.

before one begins to resent other persons’ judging stares, one does need to get off the throne of the judgement. then only one can see that this practice of blaming is but a mirror image of the onlooker. see if you can find a framed shattered mirror that still has the pieces held together separated by the cracks. each piece shows a reflection of the person and the background, but not matching it with the image in the adjoining piece because of the altered angles of each shattered piece. if not framed the shattered mirror would have the shattered pieces scattered on the ground.

the frame of the mirror is the frame of reference of the onlooker’s perceptive sense, which tries to put together as a seamless whole of a past that had flown like a steam that can’t be scattered like the pieces of a broken mirror. the letting go of the bygone as the bygone itself being a product of the thought does not flow away like the waters under the bridge, because the bridge to the past itself is made of thought.

the human mind is not the physical organ, the brain is. minding is the responding process of perceptive sense. in a living in which all things are provided for, and therefore no new situation requiring the brains to be mindful of, the repetitive state of existence suspends the external sensory physical motions. the brains function as the internal link of the five sense organs with the responding motions. when not minding the new situation it goes over the impressions of what was experienced thus far, to think over the events in terms of what was pleasant or unpleasant, and how it can be reproduced or avoided. that impression is the memory, and it is the memory that actually prevents the coming into being the process of the act of minding. mind is thus not a noun of an object, but as a verb it is referring to the formative process of knowing what is; being aware; knowing without it becoming the knowledge; the linking of cause-effect relationship of elements in motion.

vocal or verbal linguistic expressions form from the need. an individual creature, whether a plant, primate or other kind, expresses that need communicated with vocal grunt or organized cluster of sounds a reference to things needed or to be avoided or eliminated; or through the physical signs referring to the need; or even nonverbal ethereal means, as plants communicate with each other and to the sensitive humans and other creatures. as for the self protection, the all life forms have various ways: the hiss, grunt, growl, showing fangs and thorns; withdrawing within the external interference like tortoise, smail and burrowing creatures; close down like touch-me-not; grow quills like porcupine, thorns like trees; stings like wasps and bees.

all the above expressions are either totally harmless to intruders, or give a sting to keep away from the contact. and even creatures capable of killing do not do so wantonly. they kill only to eat the kill. only the humans kill with an intention to kill even when there is only a thought out physical harm.

but then the urban human sense of self is minimally physical, even though humans do exist eco-centically like all other life forms modern humans have eternally strived to move out of the nature given physical form, and reconstitute themselves in the image of their latest description of themselves, using every available means and method dressing up with generous application of the cosmetics, and even with the cosmetic surgeries and organs and skin transplant. failing in all these, they hide from the public exposure, like man’s idea of god.

as the dressing up changes only the physical looks of the person, one then thinks up an image conjured-up from the observations of expressions of other persons admired by people, and acts it out portraying oneself to be that person, like an actor making the audience believe as seen by others. but it also requires an actor to be enwrapped in an admired role-playing. but whether on stage or in an audience, admired or admiring, the theater still has to keep up with the element of the constance, the flow of life’s motions must therefore be changing. repetition lacks the lustre of life. thus it is not just the stage actors, but in every form of life’s motions repetition spells disaster. most accidents happen to people who do mechanically repetitive work, like factory workers and athelets. a past successful action does not guarantee automatic success.

it is very obvious that the writers of the thought provoking best-seller books of ecological and equanimous coexistence, themselves not experiencing the wholesome existence merely provoke thoughts in readers, who are used to being comfortable in cushy armchairs. a dry well quenches nobody’s thirst.

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