strange as it may look in the eyes of formal western culture, i am writing this to you, one particular person and not a member of a formal chomsky clan. the very content of this letter necessitates that address.
i read this morning an article you and vijay wrote on the survival of the world as we live in now. and you gave three reasons for the danger to survival: the climate, nuclear war and commercially imposed sociological interactions.
if you ponder over the formation of any such dangerous actions that the humans engage in, you will observe that it arises in the human thought formed of the fear of the personal sense of insecurity. it happens only within social interactions composed of an expected, stage-like response. any change in it disrupts the identity of the actor. in any social structure, whether political, religious or economical this interplay of identities maintains the order. any deviation of even a practically inconsequential act of one person interferes with the roles of others. it was my discarding of the yajnopavita -- brahmanas’ wearing that thread is as identity oriented as the clipping of the foreskin for the jew and moslem males -- had threatened my brahmana father’s standing in his religious clan, and i was refused entry in his house ”unless i functioned like a son of a brahmana”.
but that being put out in the cold at the teen age had only awakened a process of perception of the sense of being, both as personally experiential and as expected of me by others in any given surrounding. i lost interest in school learning when i saw that it was nothing but a process of ‘breaking the horse’ to be ridden by the system. i saw society like a multi-legged worm trying to run over me and transforming me into one more of its legs to replace its fallen old leg. and by nature i seem to be made of non-attachable elements. even in emotional interactions; a young woman i was drawn to so much that i would see her being dressed as i had seen her wearing in my dream the night before. and she used to consider me her “second self", and soul mate. and yet, she would disagree with my certain thinking to be “un----like”. it is almost like the earlier description of communism, that “the party knows better about you than you yourself do.”
from early on, with my experiential experiments i saw that much of the actions i was required to take were not necessary for me or others when not living on the stage. and i have been asked to leave those stage-like places not willing to play the role, as a teacher, monk, or even as an acquaintance. and some have worried that “unless you want a bullet in your back, keep your big mouth shut” or that “you are making it difficult for us to like you”. the only reason for that is i am liked like a harmless wild creature. in this regard, i am aware that as i am not acting according to anybody's script, my actions and responses, too, are not what is expected. this is nothing new in the process of awareness. all other creatures that i have personally interacted with, whether caged in the zoo or free in nature live like that. and in nature nothing repeats, so what their young ones learn is the process of motion and not the form of an act. this negates the role-playing that is possible only in repetition. not acting means no actor; no thought of not being recognized as a defined role player; hence no fear of socio-economic insecurity. i as an ecocentric biological entity can exist without all that which is implanted at an impressionable age when the young have no understanding why they cannot reject it.
this now brings up a suggestion: having no identity and not having identity oriented repeated acts, would not the minding - gerund of verb, to mind -- process form a direct ecocentric response? our biological motions like breathing and shitting are still happening outside of thought, though the system is trying to regulate them with spiritual breathing exercises and commercial laxatives. so one begins to discern the causes that provoke actions to impress others and being impressed by others’ actions to adjust one’s stance to retain the powerful position in the society or to submit to the authority when being subdued.
an experiment in doing anything without the name of the doer would also depict whether the respondents really understand one’s stance or they simply accept it out of the conditioning to accept it as the dictates of the authority, inflating already formed egos.
when children are taught to hear what is being told, and not who is telling, they will learn not to be impressed by others and not do anything to impress others. this is the first step the new generation will take in living cooperatively with equal footing in an ecocentric new world.
on being one of the unnoticed ones in the ever expanding table of elements
(afterthoughts on letter to noam)
i walked down the hill and went to the waterfall and drank water from its pool. as the stream was deep; i did not walk through it. besides, i only walked down to scout the trail through the fields on the hill and the downhill so that on the next day we could go to the creek when courtney came. on the next day she drove us on the 4 wheeler to the bridge. we walked on the bridge and we had lunch in the bamboo grove, walked around a little and drove up to the barn.
a real walk on the bridge that is made of the mind stuff.
this walk on the bridge has brought me on to the other shore on which either the elements are not material or i have no material existence. it is not a sense of lacking in something, rather it has no relevance. not a numbness, but rather nothing doing.
now i do not feel like living in the pee dee valley or on the hilltop above it; nor can i continue living anywhere physically doing nothing. potentiality of a cooperative coexistence not being anything that any one person can do all alone by oneself, and others not coming into being in the pee dee valley, or for that matter any other place, therefore i must not occupy my perceptive senses in only thinking about it. i do not have to act out the repeat performance, speaking and hearing words that only beget words.
this does not mean that the pee dee valley is not conducive to an ecocentric living. all other creatures there are fine. but that they all coexist within a species, not feeling alone. the two bamboos that i had transplanted there now have grown into a tall bamboo forest covering a fourth of the field by the creek.
language in real life is a connective medium between things and beings, between beings and beings and among elements in nature, ultimately for the motion that signifies the universality of cosmic coexistence.
the notion of doing anything to kill time ultimately kills the person, just the same as two actors have to exit after speaking their lines to each other. it is only outside of the stage that one's thought, speech and actions evolve beings along with the evolving universe.
a relationship made of thoughts acted out in words spoken on a cell phone and written down in scripted words in letters and emails further isolates the person creating the identities of 'me' and 'others', and widens the notion of the duality of the mind and body.
the mind/brain duality is unique to the human species, and among them it is prominent among the urban persons. even though all human beings still biologically exist like any other creature in nature, albeit, unawares. perhaps only humans have brains as a dual functioning brain. since we have no ability to communicate with other creatures we do not know if they, too, suffer the consequences created by the split. then, humans have strived to mend the split brain by stitching with the thread made of thought. the brains of a mature creature caught from the wild and kept behind the bars constantly seeks the way out, even if its struggles to get free bloodies the creature physically. and when it realises the futility of it withdraws its senses. i had watched an 11 foot python in a friend’s house, who constantly slithered alongside the screened barrier, day after day. he would not catch the live mice released in the cage for him to feed on. so he was force fed. and one night he disappeared finding a hole unknown to his captor. friends thought that i had released the python. but i had only thought of doing so. his brains had physically acted on it. then there was a lioness trapped in a cage in the zoo. she too, badly bruised herself in her struggle to get out. when her energies drained, the zoo officials mistook that as her submittance. then they placed a lion in her cage hoping they would mate. instead she put up a fierce fight with the lion, and they had to leave her alone. she ate milimally and paced a little. most of the time she sat by the bars looking out in the direction whence she had entered the compound separated from the jungle of gir by the low wall of the sakkarbaug zoo. she grew thinner by the day, and her eyes seemed to have the intensely brightening piercing gaze. and thus she died in an aware nonparticipation in a captive living designed by human thought.
in the same zoo, a little later someone opened a few cages and eleven lions came out. of them, two were trapped and the rest were born in the zoo, including five cubs. the two who were lured into the trap by the mating calls made by the captive lions made straight to the jungle. the ones born and raised in the cages hung around in and out of the cages till they were guided to be locked up.
as for my state of mentally conscious being, it happened when i was playing with the mirror’s reflected sunbeam, moving it around, and in the process i happened to look at my face reflected in the mirror. as a playful youth of about seven or so i had played thus with the mirror before, too, but had never observed my face in the mirror. we had only one paper size mirror for the family of eleven. it was mostly used by my father when shaving face. when seeing my face in the mirror i was amused with making faces, and all of a sudden i stopped as a thought arose: who is this person in the mirror? i answered it by describing what others had said me to be, as ---, the son of damodar, and so on and so forth. but that identity of myself only brought another question: who is this me that is given this name identity? the questioning thought went on round and round, and i started laughing and crying. the eldest sister saw this and called mother, and they took away the mirror from me, but the question persisted. at about age eleven, in the ceremony of acquiring the sacred thread of yajnopavita of being ordained into becoming brahmana, the initiating priest uncle brought out a mirror before me, and asking me to look in the mirror, telling me to repeat after him: “i will abstain from looking in the mirror henceforth.” there were nine other things i was told to abstain from, which were the same that i was asked to abstain from when i was being ordained as a non believer novice in the siamese buddhist monastery in the marble temple in bangkok some twenty years later, when inquiring into the buddhist perception of 'what is' as a non believer like the buddha himself. but by then i was practically homeless, and otherwise, like all other creatures not interested in trying to live up to an image, self made or acquired. and even the elders of the monks had wonered why i needed to enter the monastery, when in fact i was living more like a monk than they did.