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on ecocentric parenting


two persons sharing the same bed do not share the same dream
—a japanese saying.

if you are reading this, perhaps, you are a parent, grandparent, or at least, may become a parent later on. in all likelihood, if you were brought up in a middle class—and that means almost all americans, except the homeless—family, your parents had taken you to an easter egg hunt at a church.

and not then as a toddler, nor later on as a participating parent, had you seen the occasion as anything but an innocent fun thing; the parents helping the children paint the boiled eggs, and then hiding them in the churchyard for the smaller children to hunt the eggs they were told laid by the easter bunny.

the sponsoring church arranges all such seemingly innocent activities that cultivate an association with the church premises from an early age to safeguard its physical existence. and it does succeed very well. even a non church-going person goes to church for wedding, and if not in the church, then in the park, but still 'spiritually' following the same ritual originated by the church. in an increasingly isolating socio-economic format of the society, the birth, marriage and death are three main events in an urban person's life where the church still holds sway, no matter how modified to suit a given norm of the time.

it all starts with the events like the easter egg hunt. it is not the painted boiled eggs the children hunt for, stuff themselves with and bag to take home. that is just the fun part. what is not observed is the connection between the egg and the bunny rabbit. rabbit is a cuddly little soft furry creature, a favorite with children. but rabbits neither lay eggs nor do they eat eggs. the church officials and parents know that, but they do not want the children to know that until at later age when they are steeped in the head-deep mire of lies, spoon-fed, and otherwise shoved into their brains by the state, the commerce sector and the religion.

it begins with the parenting. unlike the olden times, an urban parent is both the victim and victimizer of the socio-economic ills by the way of being an employer or employed in every institution, governmental, commercial, or religious. before the centralized forms of every walk of life, the human parenting was as much eco-centric as it still is among all other creatures, excluding the caged and domesticated creatures. the ratio of birth and death and male-female gender was ecologically maintained. the parenting concerned only those aspects of life that are outside of the thought patterns that created the nature verses nurture conflict invented by the three institutions, the state, commerce, and religion. in all motions related to the institutionalized human identity, the three institutions constantly compete to hold sway, not for the good of the human persons, but for the survival of the institutions. and their competitions are very violent. but since all three of them need each other in various forms and ways, most of the time these competitions are staged in which the adherents of these institutions are pitted against each other.

parenting of the natural form does not nurture a new generation to support and promote the urbanized motions of life. as a horse captured from the wild has to be "broken" to surrender his will to the trainer, the new born human person, too, would not naturally work against the natural instincts. and the natural parenting did not include any interference with the laws of nature.

nature does not produce human robots. in order to 'break" the spirit, or at least mellow it enough to act as told, the institutions began to interject themselves in the parenting: the planned parenthood with the birth control means and methods and the abortion; the fertility pills and in vitro or surrogate pregnancy and the gender selection of the embryo; and then, as it is now, even the kindergarten and early childhood nurseries are not soon enough to take away the few remaining functions of parenting. now there are experiments conducted or thought out to genetically modify the embryonic form to produce a robotic human.

but that does not settle the conflict among the institutions that are themselves the creations of thought out ways of life. hence, these not being of ecocentric nature, they cannot ever determine which of the three of them is supreme. their struggle for the pecking order is what created the notion of the roman gladiators, the kamikazes, and the suicide bombers; the volunteer army and the drafted enlisted soldiers. "theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die."

the reasoning is not what a parent does in words. it is non verbal, action oriented, and is observed by the child and is absorbed as the sixth sense. it is so for both the tamed and untamed forms of parenting. what is different is that the untamed parent is a component of nature, and therefore all the elemental motions are not isolated or predetermined. there, every step of life is not like the keyboard of typewriter that would make an expected imprint. it works well with all interactions among the various forms and motions of elements. so unlike an urban child, who is required to know what key imprints what image, or pops out which soda pop, the infant monkey picks berries from different tree branches of different trees with all sense organs active. and, too, since, the soda pop is not a natural need, but rather cultivated, induced by commercials, in a household where parents themselves are raised to live as told, their children can only magnify the conflict between the nature verses nurture. the radio, tv, internet, and the textbooks are bigger and longer nurturing aspects than what child receives from parents. increasingly, the modern urban children spend more time away from their parents lessening the child-parent communication.

in non urban living of the untamed parents, both the mother's and father's motions of life are interrelated and interactive, with each other and with the society and their surrounding elements. in their upbringing there is no conflicting perspective of life as a struggle for the re-enactment of thought that the increasingly globalized culture is steeped in. in the informed living the existence is offered in cue cards of the hallmark industry. and whatever is not yet found in the card form is laid out in words in the textbooks and in counseling sessions. much of what is formulated from thought is untested, and it is also contested by the rivaling thoughts. this is why, two lawyers who may have studied in the same school sitting on the same bench before the same professor referring the same law book become adversaries defending their respective clients with conflicting interests.

observe the untamed creatures and the awakened human beings. even their thinking is only a process of the perception of the new in the present moment. these parents do not quarrel or fight, but rather collectively work out the problems. in contrast, the institutionally motivated thinking beings having no solid ground to base their respective stance disagree more often than not. a japanese saying has observed, that "two persons sharing the same bed do not share the same dream." nor do two bright brains in the employ of two competing sectors accept each other's made to order "findings" whether related to the global warming or the origin of life. in the job related migration to places people from the different familial and institutional upbringing are brought together, and the marrying woman and man are drawn to each other motivated by the natural instincts then find themselves at odds with each other in motions of their institutionalized life. so in the conflicts of interests among the parents is not to find the common cause, but to secure the pecking order. when they cannot, they divorce. but those who do not have resigned to accept the pecking order.

and their children have observed all these parental quarrels and physically violent or verbally as demeaning fights and divorces. and it has shaped their sense of right and wrong depending upon which of the two of the parents they are close to.

once the parental bond loosens, there is lesser intimacy among the siblings and progressively minimal affinity among friends and coworkers and fellow members of the society. it is thus that these human beings will more readily perceive the distant human beings as the lesser or non human beings; enemies who may be terminated. what hitler did to the jews is no different from obama doing to the people of the middle east with the drones. both the jews and the middle easterners were not in position to defend themselves. when both of them did acquire power to fight back, neither the jews in israel nor the mddle eastern groups are any less violent than their perceived oppressors.

the educational institution is an integral component of the state and the commerce. at first it prepared workers to govern the affairs of the state. all the rest of the skills required for the human affairs were acquired from the parents. then with the mechanical industrialization of the skilled works came the need for training the work force that acted like the components of machines. these workers were trained on the job in factories. along with the growth of the factories came the growth of the managerial skills. its long list produced the syllabus and the format of the education. as the parents are employed as the blue and white collar workers, the compulsory education has replaced them during their children's impressionable age of 6 to 16. the two institutions, the state and commerce have taken over the non verbal aspects of the parenting from the natural parents. with much less wakeful time spent with the parents, these two agencies have reduced the role of parents to just the consumer producing machines. and consumers they are from the diaper wearing time to the selection of the coffin for the last rites.

upon hearing the news of the birth of the son, the renunciate buddha is said to have stated that the fetter was born. and that had become the name of his son: raahula, fetter in sanskrit. it was not just the buddha's perception. many a young parent has felt the parental bonds limiting their actions that they would otherwise undertake. and, too, more often than not, the "i have a wife and child to support" becomes an excuse born out of the years of the conditioned slavery. however, in buddha's life, it had not retained the conflict of interests between him and his severed familial ties. both the renounced pregnant wife and then unborn son, later on had accepted his perceptions of the maya, and had changed. creatures born in captivity can only learn to suffer, and the church extols them to "count your blessings". queen victoria's message to her subjects was: "be contended with what you have." the hindus invented the notion of the karma of the previous life. others called it fate. but none of them questioned the effects of the role of the parenting played by the church, commerce and the state. they do the rearing of the children to man the factories and managerial cubicles.


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